Well after returning from being away i just knew something wasnt right. Firstly thursday night my car refused to start well that will teach me for leaving it a week!!! Luckly Lidls is in walking distance so i went out to get some things we needed into wht felt like really cold conditions after coming home from the heat but i was just so happy to be home. Everything seemed ok but it wasnt.
Last night i started to realise just how bad things were. Leon went to bed quite early still tired after the traveling yesterday so Jake and me decided to play greenday rockband for a bit as Donny had his head stuck in the laptop sdoing something which i wasnt quite sure about until a few hours later. Something was bothering him i guess it was everything me be away and the hard time he knew id been given ontop of him being ignored when he came to meet us all at the airport but something inside of him kinda snaped i guess. He is already struggling with depression because of his disability and i didnt know just how much he was struggling until last night. Neither Jake or me have ever seen him act the way he did. He was saying things about his life before us and how hes always struggled with everything and how lucky he was to have us and how sorry he was for throwing everything into the kickboxing and neglecting us because of it. Why because they werent worth it now because of wwhat they have done. And hes right we hve done nothing but be helpful nd have had everything thrown back in our face for no reason at all. I dont understand myself but then again i dont really care either it gives me more time for me. He was in such a dark place it acually frightened me at one point he was even saying that he wanted it all to end he had had enough of his life what was the point. I had to try calm him down and make sure he went to bed. Its so much stress its scary but im not sure what exaclty what brought everything on but i know i will have to keep an eye on him the next few days and make sure hes taking his meds i wont ever leave him for so long again thats for sure.
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