Wooohoooo I have my car back :-)) so pleased, not by the extra cash I now have to find mind....but...at least we have my baby back :-)) Now I just need to shift this huge headache thats taken over, I guess all the stress of it all has finally hit me and quite hard too. But I guess life is never as bad as we think and it could of been a whole lot worse.
Today we are off to the vets with Jensen, he has had a ear infection and today we get to see how its going. I had top phone my Dad to come get me as we still don't have the car but at least we can still get there. Turns out that even though his ear is doing better it is not completely healed and he needs more drops for a further 3 weeks and now has some tablets to help too. My poor baby :-((
I am just so annoyed with myself for not double checking this, cant believe I miss counted the wording gggrrrr I am sat here kicking myself... Jake is sat here with me telling me don,t worry Mam it doesn't look so bad, but I know its wrong....but at the same time I really don't want to pull it all lose and start over so I am just going to go with it and hope it doesn't turn out too badly.
That's my plans for this evening and some of the afternoon, We walked over to Lidl's and got a box of wine and I am sitting in the garden with Jensen having a few glasses while Jensen also lays in the warm sunshine with me It's such a beautiful day I really don't want to spoil it by worrying about things I cant control, so that's the plan anyway. Hope you all have a wonderful saturday xx
To my Dad!! 65 years young today, I hope you have a wonderful birthday because you deserve it with everything you have been through this year, I love you loads and I hope you enjoy your birthday drinks tomorrow night, just don't get too drunk!!!! xxx
Well I'm still none the wiser about my car I spent the afternoon in the garden in the beautiful sunshine working on my dragon trying to take my mind off it, I guess there's no real point worrying until I know really is there, at least I'm getting a nice suntan :-))
Sooo, today I decided to cut all the lawns, trees and bushes in the front of my house and lawns in the back. Had a really busy morning b=getting it all need and tidy in the warm sunshine and loaded the car for the recycling place by us. That's when the trouble started....went to start the car, nothing, and a fail message on the dashboard. Called out the AA who where here within an hour, wired it up to his machine and said he would see what he could do. Well turned out he couldn't do anything and had to tow me to the garage...a really frightening experience which I don't really enjoy much!!! I had not being in control of the car!!! So we left the car there and walked home via Morrisons where we picked up a few things for a bbq and a few bottles of wine. Anyway, we were hoping it wasnt all bad news until we got a call saying they weren't sure what it was and we were looking from anything form £125 up to £2000 to fix her.... I need my wine I need not to think about it after everything that's already gone on this month!!! and I have to wait until mon or tues to know what's next....excuse me I'm going to open my wine......
Today is the 33 year anniversary of my mothers death. Every year this day is a big reminder of everything I never had a chance to do with my Mam. Watching my children growing up is something my mother never had a chance to watch me and my sister do. I wonder how she would see me through her eyes, what she would think of how I have turned out and what she would think of my family. I seen my Dad today and we often talk about my Mam, it still brings a tear to his eye when he talks about her, he loved her so much and nursed her through her cancer to the very end when she passed in our old home. It takes a very strong man to do that and I am so proud to call him my Dad. I am finding out more and more about her all the time which is fantastic. So I just want to say, please don,t take your parents for granted as you never know how long you have them for, please make sure you have plenty of stories to tell your children and help you keep them alive in your hearts xx
Game of thrones night!!! an evening when I get to sit with my eldest son for an hour and watch the show together. Its great as we can sit and discuss it afterwards and its one hour a week I have him all to myself. He is almost 19 but he will still sit with his Mam which is fab :-)) im so glad we can still spend time together.
To all the mums out there who celebrate mothers day today, may you always leave a little sparkle everywhere you go and be loved and celebrated every day xx
One of the first cross stitch designs I did when I started getting back into it when my boys where little, wooow seems like a whole life time ago, I have done so many since then even after injury. I dont think I could give up my hobby for anyone xx
And I love the weekend!! time to relax with my hubby and sometimes without the kids on either a friday or saturday which is awesome, yes they are growing up and yes hat means they will be flying in the nest in the not too distant future, but that does give myself and hubby a chance to be a couple again and not just parents. Hope you all have a great weekend xx
Here is how my latest project is coming along, I am just trying to bring a little sunshine into my life help brighten up the darkness a little :-)) I am really enjoying it too!!! Shouldnt take make longer to complete either xx
We had a taste of summer but its been taken back, please bring us back the warm sunshine please!!! I am missing the beach already!!! I know its only the start of May but it was so nice over the easter break, ah well its almost the weekend. I am hoping this one goes better but I know better than to count my chickens!!!
Tuesday, 6 May 2014
Today I am feeling a little brighter, feeling that maybe I am not here to control everything, thinking I cant spent all my time being miserable even though I am the one who was hurt, when its gone over other peoples head. So I am starting with my kitchen, going to cook up a nice roast dinner and some strawberry and white chocolate chip muffins that will get me feeling some what normal again :-))
Today is cold and miserable, which kinda suits my mood!!! was gonna go to the beach...but now my day will be mostly trying to finish lego batman 2 on the ps3, hope its better where you are and that you have a great day xx
Yeap still under a cloud but I am quite aware that wouldnt solve anything at all in fact it would be worse on me tomorrow. I cant keep feeling like this I need to sit think and make some choices xx
Something happened last night that has hurt me, shocked me and rocked me to the core. Couldnt quite believe what was happening and it was all down to selfish behavior of a 17 year old child who thinks the world owes him a living. He has a lot of growing up to do and a lot of ground to make up before I feel like trusting him again. I wonder where I went wrong sometimes as a parent, but when your child gets into the wrong group of people and you do everything you can to try and get them away but the keep constanlty running back, what are you supposed to do? Im gonna take a deep breathe and try to figure out where we all go from here. On a different note, something my eldest said to me also really shocked me and I really dont know how to deal with that news right now!!! theres already too much going on in my head!!! If I had one I could use a very large very strong drink right about now!!!!
Spent the morning up the church helping making my Mum look nice and tidy, been thinking so much the last few weeks about life and death and thinking about how much time and effort is wasted on the wrong people, especially when they throw it all back at you. Makes you wonder how much more you will keep taking before you just want to let go. My hubby did an amazing job trying to touch up the gold lettering as his eyes are so bad but he just wanted to help. We both understand how hard it can be growing up with out a mam in our lives and its so very sweet of him to do this for me even though I know he is going to suffer for it later.
My Mam has an amazing view from where she is and my Dad said she always loved the view so I guess she would be happy knowing this is what she can see.
And not before time too...ahhh come on he looks like a little mop!!! Well I asked for him to be short as he wiont stay out of the mud and he gets soooo dirty when we are down the beach. But I didnt quite prepare myself for how short he was gonna be!!! He looks like a different dog now!!! Ahhh our little Jensen, my little pudding!!!!
My Dad asked me to make some flowers for my Mams grave an the real ones are dying far to fast or being eaten as she is up on a hill side so we went down to Dunelms bought several different ones and I made these!!! Hope he likes them!!!
Than constantly struggling to keep everything clean and tidy all the time?? esp when you live in a house of boys, have two cats and a 10month old puppy??? I really do like throwing in the towel sometimes!!! Therefore I can totally agree with this because my life is never dull for a momment!!!!
And today the easter break is over and everything goes back to normal, its awesome apart from I dont feel great but im sure that will pass, its hayfever season again and just something I will have to get used to, that doesnt mean that I cant try and enjoy a cuppa with my Dad when he calls then try to enjoy the rest of the day. Happy monday everyone!!!
But this is what happens every time I go to sit on my bed and watch tv or a dvd and stitch!!! hhhmmm never going to get any done when he wants cuddles!!! And I will put down my stitching everytime because I am just so grateful he is still here with us, at least when Lilly joins me she is a good girl, well sometimes!!!!
All finished!!! and I love it :-)) It looks so awesome so black on the pink sparkle, hhhmmm I was asked if I was going to do it in white on black and then I wondered....do I have enough glow in the dark??? cos that would be way cool!!!
Today still has me thinking, especially about my mams sister, its hard to take in the fact that the same cancer is slowly killing her that killed my mam in the same house 33 years ago next month. I have been up to the house to see her but it is so hard to go in there and see her struggling with the same thing. I guess life is so very short and you have to use it wisely and only be with and do the things that make you happy xx
Today had been a very sad day, when I know I was going to this ladies funeral I wasnt quite sure how I was feeling about it, I hadnt seen her in a long time or her daughter who I was best friends with when I was growing up. But the second we got there I knew I was going to be upset. My friend gave me the biggest hug and we both started crying. You dont realise how much impact someone has had on your life until they are gone and you forget how suddenly that come hit you with no way of going back. So please give the people you love hugs and show them you love them while you can. Im off to have a jd and honey and have a think about life xx
Happy birthday Mam, I really do wish you were still here with us to I could give you a big hug and a kiss, but I'm sure where ever you are you are giving them hell. Can hardly believe you have been gone so long, miss you love you always xxx
Here is a photo of our kitty Sammy after he was hit by a car last year and the vet said he was blind and would proberly have to be an indoor kitty from now on. Well, its a shame that she didnt see him bring the bird in yesterday!!! or climbing onto our neighbours roof as he loves to do so much!!!! Sammy youve had your dance with death once please slow down!!!!! you are always so crazy!!!!
Today is such a beautiful day, the sun is shining and the skies are blue, so we decided to have a bbq!! But when we aere enjoying the spring heat our poor puppy was over heating so we filled a paddling pool for him and he was much better!!! Its just a taste of warmer weather and he was struggling poor baby!!! We had a great night and was nice for my children to be home for it too as we hardly see our youngest these days.
Today I am going to try leave mine in my garden as I am busy busy busy cutting back mowing and painting the inside of my shed a datk purple as I would love to have somewhere to sit stitch and read in the summer!!! wish me luck"""
Tonight it was beautiful so we took Jensen for a walk along the beach!! well, he came home stinking haha i love it he is never white for long!!! my furry little pudding!!!!
Here is how my supernatural stitching is coming along :-)) All the out lines are now done so its much easier to sit and watch all 3 seasons of game of thrones, and I have to be honest im loving it :-))
I want ot have a good think about every area of my life, from my house to the people in it. A clean start is the best step forward. Time to leave the past where it belongs and look to the future. Time to be me and not mammy as my boys are growing.