I just wanted to show you some of the last of my baking before i leve you to celebrate. I think i have out done myself this year almost all of these things have been a first time try out lol but i have to admit they havent come out half bad :-)
So this is what i made first :-) there are chocolates with whole hazel nuts,chocolte and white chocolates with hazelnut brittle,chocolte with peanut butter, chocolate and white chocolate with coconut and white and chocolte dazzle squares and i still have lots of ides for more which i will get on with later :-) i must confess i have hidden the chocolates for now so they dont get eaten hehehe.
Hey everyone boy have these weeks to christmas been flying along so fast!!! I just wanted to take a few minutes inbetween shopping and cooking to show you my last few cards i have made :-)
This one is for Jake 
This one is for Donny 
And this one is for Leon. I always try to stitch crds for my three boys over christms :-)
Im just so relieved its all coming together although if im honest im already starting to regret the bills that will start coming in after christms is over.
But im sure i will manage i usually do lol 
I have also really enjoyed making clothes designs this yer too so who knows where the future will lead....
Well anywhere but here anyway lol!!!! Saying that it was very pretty to watch through the window as i was making christmas cards this morning but it didnt last long before all the rain came down and washed it all away.
I have been sat down tonight trying to figure out what gifts im going to get for my boys this year they grow so fast and its so hard when you can no longer just go out and buy them toys theres nothing to built anymore on a christmas morning and i miss that along with all the excitement of the night before.
But i guess you cnt keep them small forever they hve to grow up and explore the world for themselves just like we have and hope they turn into good people.
Im easy this year lol i just would like some perfume and some makeup please santa ive been a good girl xxx i dont ask for stitchy stuff theres no point in a housefull of boys hehe 
Here is bud trying to help out lol he loves xmas as much as the kids do if not a little more xxx
Finally i am starting to feel a little more human today at last :-) I can walk up the stairs without getting out of breath which is fab :-) So ive decided to make some christmas cards 
I cant believe how fast christmas is coming and here i am no where near prepared at all. The only things i am certain of is my cake which i hve cooked myself and the turkey my dad is getting us for our dinner!!!! omg do i start to panic now!!!!!!!! Nah theres not much point now really is there lol xxxx
Well after returning from being away i just knew something wasnt right. Firstly thursday night my car refused to start well that will teach me for leaving it a week!!! Luckly Lidls is in walking distance so i went out to get some things we needed into wht felt like really cold conditions after coming home from the heat but i was just so happy to be home. Everything seemed ok but it wasnt.
Last night i started to realise just how bad things were. Leon went to bed quite early still tired after the traveling yesterday so Jake and me decided to play greenday rockband for a bit as Donny had his head stuck in the laptop sdoing something which i wasnt quite sure about until a few hours later. Something was bothering him i guess it was everything me be away and the hard time he knew id been given ontop of him being ignored when he came to meet us all at the airport but something inside of him kinda snaped i guess. He is already struggling with depression because of his disability and i didnt know just how much he was struggling until last night. Neither Jake or me have ever seen him act the way he did. He was saying things about his life before us and how hes always struggled with everything and how lucky he was to have us and how sorry he was for throwing everything into the kickboxing and neglecting us because of it. Why because they werent worth it now because of wwhat they have done. And hes right we hve done nothing but be helpful nd have had everything thrown back in our face for no reason at all. I dont understand myself but then again i dont really care either it gives me more time for me. He was in such a dark place it acually frightened me at one point he was even saying that he wanted it all to end he had had enough of his life what was the point. I had to try calm him down and make sure he went to bed. Its so much stress its scary but im not sure what exaclty what brought everything on but i know i will have to keep an eye on him the next few days and make sure hes taking his meds i wont ever leave him for so long again thats for sure.
I am soooooooooooooooo excited!!!!! I get to see Jake and Donny today and i cant wait and i dont care who hears it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are up early all pcked and longing to be in a much freindly place than this is. I know people say Llanelli is dump but its my dump and i cant wait to get back to Wales!!!! To be honest it hasnt felt like we are in a different country just different place is that all traveling is i dont know lol maybe its just me :-) 
If youd like to see the photos i have taken i will be uploding them here soon http://dragoncollector.multiply.com/photos
Today is our last day here and i am so excited to think we will be home tomorrow i cant wait!!!!! But first i m going to enjoy the last day here.
We went to hve a breakfast this morning and then we went to the beach this morning it was 9am and so warm the best day we have had since arriving here :-) 
We had a brilliant two hours laying on the beach and going in the sea its been the nicest part of the daytime just chilling out with good friends :-) It took us a while to find this part of the bech but it was well worth the walk. 
Then we ll went back to the hotel for the kids to go in the pool this is Leon and Kayleigh in the cold pool its gret how they dont feel it s much as we do lol but we all went in both pools :-) Then we went down to the strip to do our last minute shopping before we leave tomorrow then we went for dinner before coming back and going back in the pool :-)
In the evening me and Andrea decided to finish off the last of the wine we hd left so we were sitting by the pool when Kayleigh came running over to tell us that Leon had fallen down the steps he was ok thankfully just bumped his back. As it was starting to get cold we decided to go sit in reception and there we st with Mark and some of the other children from the team. Andrea sked if we were all looking foward to going home which of course we ll were. Within 5 minutes i was approached by the two welsh coaches and was shouted at in front of everyone for complaining about the trip nd being miserable and segregating people from the team i was shocked i hd no idea where this had come from because as far as i was concerned id had a great week and i wasnt the only peorson who choose not to stay in the hotel every night so i ws confused and hurt. But after talking to the people i had spent time with they were also confused so i have decided i dont care what they think im me and if you dont like it dont bother with me i know who i am and i know who i like and the people that spent time with me are the only ones who know how much fun we had so i dont care :-)
Well today is the lst day of the comp and i have to say the four of us arent exactly looking our best this morning after lst night which isnt gret as we have a very long day today and its boiling lol. We went long to wtch the final fights but was big gap inbetween so we went up to our fave cafe for some much needed food to soak up the night before lol. When we got back there ws one fight left so we managed to watch everything. When it was done Leon decided to go into that hotels out door pool for a bit which wasnt gret for me cos i was sitting wtching him constantly getting covered in black flies there were everywhere weither its because this hotel is right on the beach im not sure but i manged to drag him out so we could get back to our hotel as there is the party tonight as the comp is now all over.
We travelled down to the party tonight which was very unorganised and very expensive so well decided to walk back down to the strip and go elsewhere.Everyone seemed to go thier own ways from here for food ect so me Mark Wayne and the kids headed for the place we went to last night were Leon did karaoke which was very cute :-) Everyone was so tired after the night before that it wasnt as much fun this time so we started heding back when we bumped into Jonny Lindsey and their kids Ryan Daniella and Zara. We stayed with them for a bit while Jonny sang karaoke then made our way back when Brandon decided he wnted to stay in out room with Leon tonight which was no problem :-)
Well new day new start i guess. I have decided i am going to try have some fun today and to hell with anyone who doesnt like it. We are going down to watch the comp today but hopefully we can leave early and guess what!!!! looks like its gonna be a nice day :-)
We got to leve quite early today our little group with a few others who came to eat with us we hd a nice meal and me and Andrea had a glass or wine too and on the way back we re going to get some sangria and sit and have a few glasses by the pool :-)
Kaye decided to join us in out few glasses by the pool so she was with us with her husband Paul and her children Joohn-Paul and Ellie and Wayne had a few drinks with us too :-) We also had Lindsey and Rachel and Mark join us which was nice. Me and Andrea even went into the outdoor pool which was really really cold almost icy lol just like the garden pool at home :-) then we went indoors in the heated pool whiched opened uptoday.
We then deicided we were going to go down to the strip for a few drinks as we hadnt been anywhere yet so off we went me,Leon,Andrea,Kayleigh,Mark,Wayne,Jordan,Brandon and Liam tagged along uninvited. We had a fantastic night dancing singing playing pool we acully got the chnce to let our hair down without worrying what everyone though it was fantastic :-) untill the kids dragged us back to the hotel about half 10 that was lol. Wayne and Brandon came with me and Leon for a glass of wine before we all headed off to bed last day tomorrow then its all over xxx
Today is Leons fight. The day could of not started off worse for me with one of the other parents deciding to have a go at me for no reson at all and think that is perfectly fine when i have done nothing but hey thats life i guess i seem to always get the blame for something i havent done and to be honest these people re not the type worth bothering about anyway. We walked upto the fighting hotel the weather still isnt too good still quite wet and cool but thats supposed to change soon so theres hope for that.
Leon had his fight second year in a row hes had a boy a lot taller and heavier than him he did an fantasic job but unfortunitly didnt win this time but hey you cant win everytime and i am just so proud of him for trying i really am :-) And he is so happy with the fact he did his best he enjoyed himself.
I spoke to Donny and Jake on skype today and after a very hard day i have to say i am missing them both so so much and knowing im not traveling home till thursday is weighing heavily on me tonight its one of them times when you know you need a cuddle but half of the people you love are thusands of miles away and the guilt of going away and leaving them home isnt helping either. Well im going to bed now and im hoping that tomorrow is a better day for both me and Leon xxxx
This morning we traveled down to the fighting hotel to register and pay for the fight. Also the team Wales photo wss taken. Its a dull morning here not that warm either we have also had some rain just like being at home lol. As you can see from the photo.
When we arrived back at the hotel me and Leon decided along with my cousion Andrea and her daughter Kayleigh, Mark, and Wayne and his sons Jordan and Brandon to go for a walk to see what we could discover :-) Our little group is made up of all those who have left loved ones at home and we all can cheer each other up :-) It started off quite warm so we were all wearing tshirts and shorts....big mistake!!!!! While we were out it absolutly hammered down lol the roads turned to rivers within seconds i dont think i have ever ever seen so much rain fall so quickly at one time!!!!!!!! we were all like drowned rats bout a mile away from the hotel with no were to shelter I thought it was funny i think i was the only one hehehe
After a delay in taking off at Bristol because of the strike in France we have touched down safely in Portugal. Leon was more frightened than me he started to panic when we were getting on to the plane but i managed to calm him down eventually I really dont think the hour wait we had sitting on the plne helped his nerves very much but once the plane started moving he was just fine :-) It was a fantastic experience and we both loved every minute off it and cant wait for the flight home!!!! We have lovely room which is pleanty big enough for the two of us but its been very long day and night so we are off to bed nite nite xxx
