Nearly the weekend!!!

We had a taste of summer but its been taken back, please bring us back the warm sunshine please!!! I am missing the beach already!!! I know its only the start of May but it was so nice over the easter break, ah well its almost the weekend. I am hoping this one goes better but I know better than to count my chickens!!! 

Today I am feeling a little brighter, feeling that maybe I am not here to control everything, thinking I cant spent all my time being miserable even though I am the one who was hurt, when its gone over other peoples head. So I am starting with my kitchen, going to cook up a nice roast dinner and some strawberry and white chocolate chip muffins that will get me feeling some what normal again :-))

Bank holiday blues

Today is cold and miserable, which kinda suits my mood!!! was gonna go to the beach...but now my day will be mostly trying to finish lego batman 2 on the ps3, hope its better where you are and that you have a great day xx

Quiet

Yeap still under a cloud but I am quite aware that wouldnt solve anything at all in fact it would be worse on me tomorrow. I cant keep feeling like this I need to sit think and make some choices xx

So hurt, so upset

Something happened last night that has hurt me, shocked me and rocked me to the core. Couldnt quite believe what was happening and it was all down to selfish behavior of a 17 year old child who thinks the world owes him a living. He has a lot of growing up to do and a lot of ground to make up before I feel like trusting him again. I wonder where I went wrong sometimes as a parent, but when your child gets into the wrong group of people and you do everything you can to try and get them away but the keep constanlty running back, what are you supposed to do? Im gonna take a deep breathe and try to figure out where we all go from here.

On a different note, something my eldest said to me also really shocked me and I really dont know how to deal with that news right now!!! theres already too much going on in my head!!! If I had one I could use a very large very strong drink right about now!!!!

Looking good xx

  Spent the morning up the church helping making my Mum look nice and tidy, been thinking so much the last few weeks about life and death and thinking about how much time and effort is wasted on the wrong people, especially when they throw it all back at you. Makes you wonder how much more you will keep taking before you just want to let go.
                                    

 My hubby did an amazing job trying to touch up the gold lettering as his eyes are so bad but he just wanted to help. We both understand how hard it can be growing up with out a mam in our lives and its so very sweet of him to do this for me even though I know he is going to suffer for it later.

 My Mam has an amazing view from where she is and my Dad said she always loved the view so I guess she would be happy knowing this is what she can see. 

Naughty naughty

HHHMMMM, should I shouldnt I?? Do I start something new....do I work on one of my many WIPS....

ooohhh,  come on.... you know me well enough!!! I was always going to start something new!!!!

Some one is off for a hair cut!!!

And not before time too...ahhh come on he looks like a little mop!!! Well I asked for him to be short as he wiont stay out of the mud and he gets soooo dirty when we are down the beach. But I didnt quite prepare myself for how short he was gonna be!!! He looks like a different dog now!!! Ahhh our little Jensen, my little pudding!!!!

For my Mam from my Dad

My Dad asked me to make some flowers for my Mams grave an the real ones are dying far to fast or being eaten as she is up on a hill side so we went down to Dunelms bought several different ones and I made these!!! Hope he likes them!!!

Ever feel like theres more to life

Than constantly struggling to keep everything clean and tidy all the time?? esp when you live in a house of boys, have two cats and a 10month old puppy??? I really do like throwing in the towel sometimes!!! Therefore I can totally agree with this because my life is never dull for a momment!!!!

And back to normal

And today the easter break is over and everything goes back to normal, its awesome apart from I dont feel great but im sure that will pass, its hayfever season again and just something I will have to get used to, that doesnt mean that I cant try and enjoy a cuppa with my Dad when he calls then try to enjoy the rest of the day. Happy monday everyone!!!

I love my Sammy

But this is what happens every time I go to sit on my bed and watch tv or a dvd and stitch!!! hhhmmm never going to get any done when he wants cuddles!!! And I will put down my stitching everytime because I am just so grateful he is still here with us, at least when Lilly joins me she is a good girl, well sometimes!!!!

wooohoooo!!!!

All finished!!! and I love it :-)) It looks so awesome so black  on the pink sparkle, hhhmmm I was asked if I was going to do it in white on black and then I wondered....do I have enough glow in the dark??? cos that would be way cool!!!

TGIF

Hoping you all have an awesome weekend!!! I am gonna try after this week it may be just what the dr ordered!!!

A day for reflection.

Today still has me thinking, especially about my mams sister, its hard to take in the fact that the same cancer is slowly killing her that killed my mam in the same house 33 years ago next month. I have been up to the house to see her but it is so hard to go in there and see her struggling with the same thing. I guess life is so very short and you have to use it wisely and only be with and do the things that make you happy xx

Saying goodbye

Today had been a very sad day, when I know I was going to this ladies funeral I wasnt quite sure how I was feeling about it, I hadnt seen her in a long time or her daughter who I was best friends with when I was growing up. But the second we got there I knew I was going to be upset. My friend gave me the biggest hug and we both started crying. You dont realise how much impact someone has had on your life until they are gone and you forget how suddenly that come hit you with no way of going back. So please give the people you love hugs and show them you love them while you can. Im off to have a jd and honey and have a think about life xx

Nearly there!!!

It's getting there!!! watching the first 3 series of games of thones at the same time is really pushing me to get this done!!!!

Happy birthday Mam

Happy birthday Mam, I really do wish you were still here with us to I could give you a big hug and a kiss, but I'm sure where ever you are you are giving them hell. Can hardly believe you have been gone so long, miss you love you always xxx

I dont think so!!!

Here is a photo of our kitty Sammy after he was hit by a car last year and the vet said he was blind and would proberly have to be an indoor kitty from now on. Well, its a shame that she didnt see him bring the bird in yesterday!!!  or climbing onto our neighbours roof as he loves to do so much!!!! Sammy youve had your dance with death once please slow down!!!!! you are always so crazy!!!! 

If I would of had time

This year, I would of tried to make another easter cake, I really would I was so happy with this one I mad a few years ago!!!!

Happy easter

Hope you all have a great weekend!!!!

AAAWWW

AAAAWWWW a photo of my princess sleeping on my bed. I love her when she is nice and quiet like this :-))

First family bbq of the year

Today is such a beautiful day, the sun is shining and the skies are blue, so we decided to have a bbq!! But when we aere enjoying the spring heat our poor puppy was over heating so we filled a paddling pool for him and he was much better!!! Its just a taste of warmer weather and he was struggling poor baby!!!  We had a great night and was nice for my children to be home for it too as we hardly see our youngest these days.

Busy busy

Today I am going to try leave mine in my garden as I am busy busy busy cutting back mowing and painting the inside of my shed a datk purple as I would love to have somewhere to sit stitch and read in the summer!!! wish me luck"""

Back at the beach!!

Tonight it was beautiful so we took Jensen for a walk along the beach!! well, he came home stinking haha i love it he is never white for long!!! my furry little pudding!!!!

Stitchy update

Here is how my supernatural stitching is coming along :-)) All the out lines are now done so its much easier to sit and watch all 3 seasons of game of thrones, and I have to be honest im loving it :-))

Spring clean time

I want ot have a good think about every area of my life, from my house to the people in it. A clean start is the best step forward. Time to leave the past where it belongs and look to the future. Time to be me and not mammy as my boys are growing. 

Chilli and walking dead.

My friday this week is cooking up a big pot of chilli and playing walking dead on the ps3 :-)) hope you all have a good weekend xx

A subject close to my heart!!!

Our kitties are driving us mad at the momment, they will insist on sharing the bed!!! lucky we love them to bits!!!

We are still in!!!

So here is my happy pic!!!! I am a very happy girl today!!!!

Champions league night

This may just happen to me tonight of we lose our game, so I had better keep all my fingers crossed for a good result!!! Come on Chelsea we can do it!!!!!!

Memories :-))

Came across some of these that I used to make the other day, ah memories, theres so much competition out there over making everything these days I dont know if it would be worth while to start up again.

Lazy sundays

Theres been a few emotional days this week, so with that in mind as there is just so much going on I would need hours to blog it!! Iam going to cwtch up with hubby have a quiet one and watch a movie. Hope you are all enjoying your weekend xx

Saturday nights :-))

I spend most of mine playing singstar, rock band and guitar hero on my ps3 I loves it!!!!

OOOPPPSSS

See I told you I wouldnt be able to control myself!!!! Love my supernatural loads :-))

My first big finish of 2013

Finally all done!!! and I am just so proud of myself!!! I couldnt wait to share :-))

This is a project I want to have finished before the end of the summer, thats if I try really hard not to start something new...now I know I am never going to finish it!!!!

Ok going to try again

Here goes my month of photos!!! fingers crossed!!!!

This is what I need to try and life by from now ao. Its going to be hard work but im hoping I manage it.

Happy mothers day Mam

33 years this year Mam, I wish that you could of seen us grow up and meet my boys, I hope I make you proud I love you so much xxx

WOOOOHOOOO

I dont know how I did it but I did!!! I managed to lose 7lbs this week!!! must be the get fit with Mel B game i bought and nearly into a smaller size too!!! just have to hope i manage to keep it off!!!!!

Happy birthday Leon

My youngest turns 17 today, where has the time flown to? I hope he has a fantastic day I really do one of the last few we will get to spend with him before he is too big I guess xx

Time to say goodbye.

Today we are saying goodbye to my husbands sister, I didnt know her my husband didnt really either as she was his half sister, but we both thought it was important to go and say goodbye. We had a warm friendly welcome from the family we did know. Its always hard saying goodbye such a sad time.

AT the beach

Its not spring yet but is never the wrong time for the beach and our puppy loves it there!!!

REALLY????

How much mess can a teenage boy be comfy to life in in all honesty??? Im sure there is less rubbish on a tip than Leon's bedroom and I for one an sick to death of it and in all honesty Jkaes inst that much better. All these boys do in the house is their own rooms they are far to lazy to help with anything else and they still expect it all... Ive had enough. My hormones have kicked in big time today and between the feeling sick and being in total agony I am sick to death of everyone and everything. It would be wise to run the otherway if you see me coming for the next few days I am likely to say what I think rather tahn what I should you have all been warned in advance.

Positive out look, well I tried...

I really did try today!!! I got up I went shopping with my Dad, I did my zumba, chatted to a friend, sat with Sammy  for an hour, got my mind set for a new look at a new week, new month.....it don't last long. And I should be used to it really, in all honesty is anything in this life as simple as it sounds?? 

It just goes to show what a person put into a situation who doesn't belong there can do to a family and its ripping ours apart. But there's nothing that can be done about it. I keep being told oh it will fizzle out, but I really don't think it will, once you mix with poison it rubs off on you and is harder and harder to pull away from it no matter how bad it gets. Time to turn a blind eye or its going to continue to eat at us all. Playing Chinese whispers so it says just with the people you want. 

Here's hoping for a better day tomorrow x

last day

Today has been another quiet lovely day a time to zumba first thing, yes I know on a sunday too!!! I amazed myself as my wrist and shoulder are just so painful this morning I didn't think I would be able to if I'm really honest.

 Leon has decided that he is staying out tonight even thought it is a college night, he doesn't start until 12.20 though so I am going to see how it goes, I have warned him though he is to come home and have a shower and get changed before he goes as I have not seen him since he walked Altanta to the train station Saturday evening at 6.20 boy my kids are growing up too fast :-((

Any way my picture for today is one of the gifts that Leon got me for xmas, I really loved playing Dante's inferno on the PS3 so he bought me my own Dante and I love him!!! So I wanted you to see :-))

Happy Saint David's day

I would like to wish everyone a very happy Saint David's day we have already had cawl and welsh cakes in the best few weeks and yes I guess I could of kept them for today but never mind :-)) I am going to try something new this month which is a picture for every day I'm not sure atm weither it will be something I am doing, somewhere I am or just something I am thinking about we will just have to see how the mood takes me I guess :-))

Tonight we have a very unusual child free night which isn't a bad thing after last night, geess it comes to something when you have to be careful what you say in your own house because your every word and movement seems to be being reported back to someone who apparently doesn't want anything to do with your or your life, confused?? I know I am... but there you go I guess.

 Any way our night was wonderful just chilling and relaxing watching tv together after a cooked a lovely but healthy meal and we shared a bottle of wine. Yes just a bottle I am going to be cutting right back again otherwise this weight is never going any where and all the exercise I am doing will be for nothing, I can do it I have done it before but living here sometimes its just easier said than done.

Fab friday :-))

Waking up to more zumba ahhh this is the life its killing my shoulder mind you but I am loving it so much its just awesome and so much fun :-))

Well you will be pleased to know that I did acually get some stitching in finally!!! Saying that I did have Lilly on my lap and she does love to attack everything I am trying to do!!! but I managed :-)) And I going to try and work on it as much as I can next month try and get it done as its been on going for a little while now :-))

But not tonight its friday!!! which means wine and singing games so good night x

Cawl :-))

I love the day we have cawl because I don't really have to cook, well, apart from the bread babs I did make. Thursday is Leon's football training so its most prob the best night to make it because it will most deffo warm and fill him up after training and Jake acualy made his way home tonight well for the next to nights to acualy seem like he does life here. 

I decided that I would go upstairs tonight to do a little stitching while watching eastenders as hubby had his head in ghosts, seemed like a good plan, until my little fur baby decided he would much rather have a cwtch with his mammy and watch eastenders, stitching 0 Sammy 1 lol 

Half way through half term

Started the day off with more exercise I am really trying to work out more get ready for the summer!!! loves it :-))

Its not been too bad if I'm honest but i think that's down to the fact i have hardly seen the boys lol  seem quite a bit of Leon's girlfriend though and even more of her tonight as she missed her train home and her mum had to come pick her up which didn't make her mum very happy and i can see her point. I don't know the roads where she lives so i don't like driving places I don't know in the dark, guess its time to start driving around more in the day in case  this happens again!!! kids hey I was in the bath when Leon phoned to say what had happened. But she is home and safe now and that's all that matters. Time to relax finally and watch bones and grimm xx

Cooking cooking

Today we walked Jensen over to Lidl I wasn't sure when I went in what I was going to be cooking tonight, but once I went in I decided for the next few days :-)) Jakes not home for most of this week so it shall be quiet around here something im starting to get quite used to. Any ways. I came out of lidls with enough veg to sink a battle ship and make me wish I had taken the car lol when we got back I decided to take out how I'm feeling about a few things atm out on a large selection of veggies and get them all prepared for the cawl I shall be serving for food on thurs and it helped it worked wonders :-)) two hours later and my mood has had an overhaul, well for time being any ways :-))

ZUMBA!!!!

This is going to hurt I know it is as its been a long while what with my shoulder being so bad, but its time I have to do this, I have gotten so lazy apart from walking to the dog that is and I've eaten way more than I should of this last week so here goes nothing!!! Its time to try one of the disks I had from my zumba for xmas.

Jake is sat here shaking his head at me as I am dying on the sofa....lol...he keeps saying what did you expect Mam?? you only went and picked rush...which is the 20 minute disk the shortest in the collection...but..the most intense!!! and even though I am now dying I really loved every minute of it!!! I have missed it so so so much I need to get this back to a regular thing in my lIfe i really do :-)) and I didn't stop there either I went straight into just dance 2014 :-))

Boy the rain really coming down out there tonight i hope everyone stays safe and there is no more flooding xx

Sunday sunday

Its funny how one persons words and actions can change the way you are feeling. Well tonight the plan was a sweet and sour pork followed by a nice night cwtching on the sofa watching a movie or two with my hubby, well it doesn't work that way when your kids don't want you to relax. I have a message from my youngest to inform me he's on the train on the way back from his girlfriends and wont be long at 7.45, I then have another message at 8.00 i have bumped into my mate wont be long, another message at 9.30 gone spinning see you in a bit, final message at 11.05 I know this is short notice but don't wait up see you tomorrow....16 going on 26...way to ruin my night ggrrr why not just say your staying out in your earlier message, did I mention its the first night of half term???  I give up I'm going to bed!!!!!

The day after

Last night was fantastic and I am still smiling, it was just so nice to spend time with people who like and want to be around you because they just want to :-)) Leon was up early and off to football this morning and I am going to have a nice relaxing afternoon playing my new games and eating some chocolate and drinking coffee!!! Hope you all have a great saturday :-))