A day of cleaning and heartache

So I plan to get all my cleaning done today so I can have tomorrow off haha like that's going to happen with this weather and a puppy back and fore through the back door bring muddy paw prints through the house every few hours...but I'm gonna try any ways. Well I dusted all the shelves down and pulled down Buds pedigree certificate that upset me, just stood there with tears in my eyes thinking of him remembering him, hitting me this is the second birthday I spend without him, I love and miss him so so much :-(( Then I got on my hands and knees and started scrubbing the floor, and do you know what?? apparently there was an earthquake. well I have to be honest, I didn't notice it!!! Its a shame I would like to experience it kinda I think lol I do remember one before but that wasn't up to much either.

So I finally have everything all tidy and done when my eldest walks in and decides to upset me. He knows how much pain and hurt my birthday normally brings me and now he has decided to add to it. He has just informed me that he will be leaving Friday morning for college and he wont be home until Saturday evening. I felt like the ground opened up beneath me and swollowed me whole. I know our relationship hasn't been great since he got back with that girl but I know now that he has decided a night playing monopoly with friends is much better than spending any time with me on my birthday so I guess I must learn to let go and except that he is no longer my child and he is an adult in his own right and leave him to get on with his own life and start living mine without him in it so much.